Thinking of… “Daddy Bear”

October 26, 2009 at 1:47 am | In Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

The other night, as Ally was asking for her Daddy Bear, I began reminiscing about my first published short story and, therefore, decided to post it to my blog.  Although Ally was not born when I wrote “Daddy Bear,” she has one of the stuffed Army bears and sleeps with it nightly.  It’s funny how things work out.

Daddy Bear
By Melissa Blanco

It began as any other day. I woke up late, having just enough time to brush my teeth and pull my hair back into a ponytail. I woke the kids, gave them breakfast, and helped them get dressed. While they watch Playhouse Disney on television, I went to assist my husband in getting ready for work.

He wore his desert uniform and tan colored boots. He adjusted his dog tags around his neck, as he double-checked his overly packed rucksack. I placed his toiletries in a bag, remembering to smell his deodorant and shaving cream for the final time, in hopes that his scent would stay with me long after he had gone. I watched him talk to our children as he tied his boots, and wondered if they knew how different things would be for us now. I knew that he would miss kissing them goodnight as much as they would miss being tickled by him on the living room floor.

I had to turn away so that they wouldn’t see the tears filling my eyes, “be strong, Melissa, be strong,” I quietly repeated to myself. I glanced at the clock, as my husband stood up, signaling that it was time to go.

“The sooner I leave,” he kept saying, “the sooner I get to come home.”

I held our one-year-old son, Peyton, in my arms, as my husband held our three-year-old daughter Madison’s hand. He bent down and gave Madison a kiss and hug goodbye, like he did each morning as he left for work. He lifted Peyton into the air, smiling as Peyton laughed, before kissing him goodbye. Lastly, he embraced me and kissed me on my forehead.

“Please, come home safe.” I said.

“I will, I promise.” He answered.

Then my husband, a Captain in the Washington State National Guard, turned and waved goodbye, for a yearlong deployment to Iraq. When my husband joined the National Guard after college, as a 2nd Lieutenant, I never thought that he would actually go to war. I envisioned that he would serve one weekend a month, a couple of weeks out of the summer, and potentially help with a forest fire or other natural disaster. It never occurred to me that I would someday have a yellow, “Keep Daddy Safe” magnet on the back of my van, or that he would be a daily target for rocket and mortar attacks. As the weeks passed, my children began to wonder: Where is my Daddy, and why isn’t he coming home?

“Madison, you need to go back to bed now.” I said one night, as she walked into the living room, ten minutes after I had kissed her goodnight.

“But, I miss my Daddy.” She answered.

“Honey, I know you do. He misses you too.”

“But I need my Daddy. Iraq is far away.” She answered.

“I know. How about tomorrow, we go find you a special toy that you can hold every time you miss Daddy?”

“Can I get a princess toy?”

“We’ll see.” I answered. “Now go back to bed please.”

The following day, I took Madison and Peyton to the mall to find that special toy they could hug each time they wanted their Dad. Our expedition led us to the Hallmark store where we found a stuffed teddy bear, wearing an army uniform. It was soft enough to sleep with, sturdy enough to play with, and cuddly enough to squeeze when we were really sad.

“Peyton, what are you going to name your bear?” I asked.

“Buzz Lightyear.” He answered.

“That sounds good, Peyton.”

“Madison, what are you going to name your bear?” I asked.

“Daddy Bear.” She answered, giving her bear a kiss.

“Daddy Bear,” I repeated, “That’s really nice.”

From that moment forward, Daddy Bear went everywhere with us. He attended my brother’s wedding in Montana, went camping, and joined us on a vacation to Colorado Springs. He slept with Madison, waited in the van while she attended preschool and soccer practices, sat quietly in the pew at Church, and celebrated birthdays and holidays with us.

Daddy Bear liked to play with princess toys, he was an exceptional student while Madison played school, and he was an efficient block tower builder. Most importantly, Daddy Bear was full of love, and provided comfort to a girl who didn’t know how much she was sacrificing, so her Dad could help people whom she didn’t know and would never meet.

Madison and Peyton, guess who is coming home tomorrow?” I asked. “Daddy!”

“My Daddy’s a hero.” Madison told her Daddy Bear.

“Like Buzz Lightyear?” Peyton asked.

“Yes, he’s a hero, just like Buzz Lightyear.” I answered, smiling.

The day started out as any other typical day would have. I fed Madison and Peyton breakfast, and we drove to Starbucks for my morning latte. We played in the yard, cleaned up toys, and had time-outs. It was a regular day; except for one very special occurrence…Daddy came home.

It would be a while before Madison and Peyton would go to their Dad when they had a scraped knee, it would also take time for him to discipline them again. A lot had happened in the year he was in Iraq. He had experienced a war, and would never quite be the same as he was before. We had experienced life without him, and would never be the same as we were before. We would try to pick up from where we left off and rejoice in the fact that we were together again, and that he had come home safely.

As I walked through the living room, I noticed that Daddy Bear was sitting alone on the couch. I picked him up and headed toward Madison’s room. I saw my husband sitting on the bed, with Madison on his left and Peyton on his right. They pointed to the pictures of the book he was reading and laughed. He smiled and kissed each of them on their foreheads.

I turned and walked back into the living room. “Thanks Daddy Bear,” I said, hugging him, before placing him on the couch and walking back into the bedroom to join my family.

Published in Chicken Soup for the Mothers of Preschooler’s Soul and MOPS.org.  Copyright- Melissa Blanco

 

Thirty-Six Lessons Learned

October 18, 2009 at 12:49 am | In Melissa | 2 Comments

I just celebrated my thirty-sixth birthday and, therefore, decided to write down 36 things about me…significant events in my life, things I’ve learned, and moments which caught me off guard.  These events are in no particular order of significance.

1. I was born in Butte, MT in October of 1973.  My uncle Brian sat in the waiting room when my mom went into labor, until my grandma arrived at the hospital.  My earliest playmates were my uncles Pat and Brian and my brother Jeremy.  Because of this, I grew up being able to relate better to guys than girls.

2. I played on a State Championship basketball team.  I was an excellent sub, and was quite efficient at the bench cheer, that season.  I started my senior year at off-guard.

3. The hardest job I’ve ever had is being a parent.  It is seriously the most difficult and rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

4. I speak Nick Jr.

5. My husband and I met at a house party in college.  He was climbing through a window to get  cup of beer- we broke up five times in the first year we were dating.

6. I have a really hard time with confrontations.  Because of this, I don’t like watching shows with people arguing.

7. I decided I wanted to be a writer about six years ago.  My first short story was published in 2005.  I think my dream job, however, would be as a professional colorer (of coloring books, not actual art).

8. My parent’s divorce was finalized the same year as the Challenger Explosion.  I think that fact speaks for itself.

9. I rear ended a truck in high school because I was looking at people lining up for a Whitesnake concert.

10. There is only one person in my life who I dislike so much that I would not speak to her if I ran into her on the street.  She is my Malificent, Ursula, evil Queen, and wicked stepmother combined into one.

11. One of the most traumatic events of my life was giving birth to my miscarried daughter, Kaileen.  I sometimes wonder what life would be like if she were alive, and look forward to meeting her in Heaven.

12. My most difficult pregnancy and delivery was with Allison.  My hospital nurse did not believe I was in labor until I was almost completely dilated.  At one point I stopped directing all questions to her and instead asked my husband to ”get me help.”

13. I tried out for cheerleading before my seventh grade year, and made the squad.  We moved before the school year started, so I can’t officially say I was ever a cheerleader.

14. My high school boyfriend cheated on me the night of our Junior Prom and then broke up with me four days later.  My young heart was truly broken, but the worst part was that he didn’t tell me the truth, but rather broke up with me because I was “too into Track and Field.”  Seriously Track?

15. I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease after Ally was born.  It was one of the best and worst things that’s ever happened to me.

16. I detest military acronyms and wish soldiers would speak the English language.

17. My husband makes me smile when he cuddles with our children, which is quite often because he is a very affectionate guy.

18. I look forward to the day my kids are old enough to watch “The Goonies.”  I used to fantasize that I was in that movie, and each time we drive through Astoria, I wonder if the pirate caves are real.

19. I had a tumor removed from my forehead four years ago…my brother had one removed from his in the same month.

20. I never liked playing with Barbies, or anything “girly”.  My parents spent a lot of money on a dollhouse for me one Christmas, and I played with it for about an hour.  Sorry Mom and Dad.

21. I went to Mexico with my seventh grade class.  It was my first plane ride and the only time I’ve been south of the border.

22. I desperately want my kids to play basketball, but none of them are interested at this point.  Seems the more I insist, the more they resist… 

23. My husband’s dad passed away the year before we were married.  It makes me sad that he didn’t get to meet our children.

24. My grandpa and grandma were married for 59 years, and I hope every day that Chris and I have the chance to spend as many years together.

25. I’d go to the dentist every month if my insurance would pay for it.

26. On the tooth subject…I never had to wear braces.

27. The last time I ever drank milk, without chocolate added to it or as part of a latte, was when I was six.  I had the stomach flu and haven’t been able to tolerate it since.

28. I had morning sickness with all of my pregnancies.  It was terrible and I envy women who don’t experience it.

29. Once, when I was little, I was knocked down by a big dog while running down the street.  He then proceeded to stand on top of my back.  My brother claims the dog was our golden retriever, Digger, but I’m not sure.  Either way, I’m still scared of big dogs.

30. If it were closer, I would get into my van today and drive to where my family owns cabins, in Western Montana.  I try to close my eyes and smell the fresh air and see the stars in the sky, but there is nothing like actually being there.  I miss it.

31. I lived in Montana until I started college at 18.  I swore I would not move back.  Now I regret saying that, because I think I jinxed myself.

32. I didn’t have asthma or allergies until I moved to Western Washington.  Apparently I am allergic to molds.  As a consolation, I do like curling up in front of the fireplace on rainy days.

33. I have a great relationship with my stepdad.  He is amazing with my kids.  When he went through cancer treatment, he exemplified mental and spiritual toughness, and I am so grateful he is in remission.

34. I love being a mom and raising my three kids, but am done having children.  I think the fact that being a parent is hard work warranted another number.

35. When I was little, we used to go to Butte and do Mousersize with my grandma.  That was Mickey Mouse’s version of dance/aerobics.  I still remember some of the songs.

36. My brother killed my pet parakeet by sticking her on a moving record player after which she flew into a wall.  I don’t blame him, he was just a little kid, but I did sing Olivia Newton John’s, “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” the night she died.

Well you’ve learned enough about me to last another thirty-six years.  Blessings, until next time…

The Annual Christmas Letter…in October

October 9, 2009 at 3:11 am | In Melissa | 1 Comment

I was thinking the other day that I’ve really been slacking on making note of my childrens’ favorite things.  I was much better at keeping track of details and milestones when they were younger, but as time goes on, I’ve become complacent and taken for granted that I will remember these things.  Therefore, I’ve decided to write a version of our Christmas letter, early- and believe me when I say that this is more for my benefit than anyone else’s.

Dear Family and Friends,

Merry Christmas (or more correctly Happy Autumn) from our family!

This has been a very busy year for us, and since I don’t have the opportunity to connect with each of you daily- unless you are on facebook and update your status, as well as, read mine- I am going to fill you in on the happenings here from our humble abode, at the base of Mt. Rainier.

Chris returned from Iraq, in August, after a thirteen month deployment, ten of which were overseas.  It would be inaccurate to say that he had an exciting and fulfilling year, because he spent 90% of his time waiting to come home and 10% of the time working out.  He watched a lot of movies and television series, and instant messaged over skype with Miss almost daily, between the hours of 12:00-2:00 PST.  He is very happy to be home with our family and is really enjoying sitting in his recliner and watching the new plasma television.  Chris’ favorites of the year…television- “The Office” and “Lost.”  Movie- “Wolverine,” book- anything military non-fiction, and he is currently reading “The Lost Symbol.”

Miss had a busy year keeping things afloat while Chris was deployed.  She loves being a mom and is happy to note that her world truly revolves around her family.  She injured her knee in the spring and so running has been difficult- but after several weeks of physical therapy, is building strength again.  She is still writing and is currently doing rewrites on her novel, in hopes that she will find a literary agent who will agree to represent her.  Miss also writes articles on Celiac Disease and submitted a short story for a fiction writing contest.  Her favorites, at the present time, include the following…television- anything that hires overpaid professional actors, as she truly despises reality television.  She does enjoy- “Lost” and “The Office.”  Favorite movie- Miss doesn’t watch many movies in the theater, but really liked “Julie and Julia” recently.  She has a hard time watching movies because they all aren’t as funny as “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.”  Favorite book- this one is tough because Miss is an avid reader.  She recently enjoyed, “Best Friends Forever” by Jennifer Weiner, is currently reading “Twenties Girl” by Sophie Kinsella, and is looking forward to the release of “The Heart of the Matter,” by Emily Giffin.

Madison is in the third grade this year and loving it.  She has a lot of friends and is an aspiring gymnast, who can do the splits in three seconds flat.  She is also able to do a back hip circle and a back bridge.  She is still a member of the Children’s Choir and is continuing her Faith Formation classes.  Madison is also a member of the school Science Club and an avid reader.  Actually that is an understatement-  Maddie is a very obsessive, compulsive, amazingly, avid, avid, avid reader.  Her favorites of the year… television- “Transformers Animated”, movie- a tie between “Eight Below” and “Night at the Museum 2- Battle at the Smithsonian.”  Favorite book- “Anne of Green Gables.”

Peyton is seven-years-old and in the second grade.  He is taking swim lessons and loved attending the Super Soaker Swim Camp last summer.  He also aspires to play golf with his dad.  He is a master at legos, bionicles and transformers- even making his own transformers out of bionicle pieces.  Amazingly, his creations still manage to transform from robots to machines.  Peyton has chosen not to pursue Choir this year, as pretending to sing became too challenging for him.  He is still in Faith Formation and recently joined Cub Scouts, with his Daddy.  His favorites include…television- ”Transformers Animated”, movie- “Star Wars Episode 5″, book- ”Captain Underpants.”  

Allison has had tremendous growth in the past year.  She will turn three at the end of January, and I do not exaggerate when I say that she constantly keeps us busy.  She loves to play with Little People toys and anything Elmo, Ni Hao Kai lan, and Dora.  She has a lot of fears, including; monsters, cats, loud noises, the dark, sleeping in her own room, transformers, Halloween costumes, the YMCA nursery, large gatherings…you get the picture.  She loves her Dad very much and misses him when he leaves for work.  Every morning she wakes up and says, “where’d Daddy go?”  Favorites…TV- Ni Hao Kai lan, Dora, Sesame Street, Barney, Diego, Olivia, The Backyardigans.  Ally likes TV- if we let her, she’d watch it all day.  Movies- Toy Story, Winnie the Pooh Heffalump, and Barney videos.  She says, “me love Barney.”  Books- Sesame Street Books, particularly with Elmo.  I’m going to sum things up with the Three Rules According to Ally…

1. What’s mine is mine, what’s yours is mine, and what’s Maddie’s is always mine.

2. Sleep is so overrated…unless it is while laying next to my Dad in his recliner.

3. If you ask me once- I’ll say no.  Ask me twice- I’ll say no as I’m running away from you.  Ask me a third time- well, in order to do that, you’re going to have to come find me first.

Happy Autumn!  May your season be filled with pumpkins, scarecrows, and non-scary Halloween costumes.

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